Yen has done a beautiful job explaining the academic job market. In case you missed it, go check the @ivoryclassofficial IG highlights.
Memes comparing the academic job market to “Squid Games” or the “Bachelor” are not far off; there can be only one. While they help us laugh through the pain of potential lost or gains, rejections or approbations, being on the job market is an undesirable thrill ride that many of us do.
As you may already suspect from the title, even when you are doing well on the job market, you can also carry a sense that you are failing. This is not at all unusual, especially for those of us who have had to work hard to disprove and rebuff the naysayers. I remember my first ever campus visit. It was evident that they had no intention of hiring me, so I did not do much to hide the spite that had built the weeks and days leading to this visit.
I arrived at the hotel after five hours of travelling (uber, flight, layover, flight, uber…) at about 6:00 pm. The interviewing faculty was already waiting in the lobby. I was given 5 minutes to drop off my luggage in the room and switch off flight mode. From that point on, I had to be on. My profession and social side under the scrutiny of others feigning amicability for two hours.
So, I sipped my wine, pushed around the food on my plate, forced the corners of my lips up slightly and interjected a word or two in the conversation every once in a while just to get through this hellish dinner.
Starting at eight o’clock the following day, the teaching demonstration, meeting with the dean, lunch with students, job talk (for which I was given only two days notice that it would have to be done in French, something never heard of before in the field because faculty from other departments are supposed to be invited; but none showed up), various interviews with faculty in the department was organized as a series of exclusionary practices. And although I had relegated this campus visit as a practice run for the job that I really wanted, I still walked away with doubt.
So, this blog post is about what comes after the fact; after the interview, the campus visit, and finally the offer… how do we deal with the urge to rewrite what has happened.
Speaking for myself, it is inevitable that I’ll fall into the trap of thinking “could’ve/should’ve.” The fact is there will always be a better way I could have answered a question, a better question I could have asked. Another fact is whatever happened did for good or for bad; there is nothing more I could have done. (I’m putting these two things right here in case I forget them later).
So, this time around, my plan is not to stop the drive into anguish, but to carve a path out of it.
My solutions are not original by any stretch of the imagination. I’m only reiterating the advice I got for the job market and after.
1. Yen said this in her blog and I second it: remember that there are others going through the same thing.
2. A psychologist told me that sometimes it is worth letting “the film” roll. In other words, let your mind process the event and reprocess it. Somewhere in there, there may be a dim light of truth.
3. A priest taught me to believe the sacred truth that when you don’t get what you want that’s God’s protection and when you get what you want that’s God’s direction.
4. I’ve learned on my own that when all is said and done, when the imposter stops whispering, the survivor wakes up to start over.
To all my friends and colleagues putting themselves out there, trust that you did it once and you can do it again.
Courage!
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